As I do every new year, spent part of my birthday reflecting on the year that was, the most challenging for loved ones and many around the world. With it came an even greater sense of responsibility because as a mother-parent, one can’t help but want do their best in making the world a better place. While we work to make our world better, we must especially do better by mothers because nurturing life IS undoubtedly the biggest responsibility.

When lockdowns were taking effect, it was barely two weeks after returning to post away from home. Thankfully, I worked for a leader who upon seeing the uncertainty of what was unfolding advised me to go where I would have support. I’m forever grateful that he cared enough to make sure the journey to motherhood was smooth. I’ll never forget his incredible kindness.

It is that kindness and the growing sense of responsibility reinforced by the pandemic at this time in my life that’s inspired a few reflections of what I’ve learned this far and wish for us to do right by mothers.

1. Nurturing a life into the world is by the most sacrificial and challenging responsibility. I wish for more leaders to recognize this and make sure newborns have at least 6 months with their mothers. This is especially critical to a mother’s healing and for the child. Leadership must appreciate this is key to securing a healthier and happier future for our children.

2. The journey to motherhood isn’t straightforward. For some of us, it involves lots of pain, tears, and many a heartbreak. And all the while, you expected to put on a brave face at work and family/social gatherings as you’re accosted, judged, mocked etc. for not having a child as soon as expected. Basically, your uterus becomes the business of many, who by the way do nothing to help you. I wish for us to get educated on the reality of the science of “getting” pregnant in order to be kinder to women as you simply do not know what they are battling, which may be traumatic enough and certainly do not need anyone piling it on.

3. Single mothers are HEROES, easily THE strongest people on earth, because going through pregnancy, childbirth and raising a child cannot be easy without the support of a partner. I cannot wrap my mind and heart around children-teenagers who are forced into motherhood while too young do it. Yet still the world is even more cruel to them by discriminating against them or denying them their right to a quality education and more. The trauma of it all!!!!!!!! I wish for us, especially you parents, to fight with EVERYTHING to do everything to support our younger children/teenagers by holding every boy/man/parent accountable, and most especially stand by our girls through it all such that they and their children can have a shot at a brighter future.

4. Three-four month maternity leave is no where near enough. I have had the rare opportunity to telecommute after maternity and fully be there for our daughter every single day. A child begins to recognize caretakers around 4 months. Therefore, I wish for maternity leave to be at least 6 months. If this isn’t not possible (I know it is) new moms should have the option telecommute after maternity leave. And we know this is possible because the lockdowns during the peaks of Covid19 proved that we can work from anywhere as long as results are delivered. Sitting in an office is no longer necessary. I also wish we can do something for the majority working in the “informal” sector who are largely excluded from the benefits of maternity leave.

5. Your baby requires a few basics mainly to keep them warm, dry and fed. (Happy to share my must haves in another post). We need not be extravagant on things they’ll outgrow in no time. We can buy necessities, few outfits and invest the rest in the child’s future. I wish for us save money that would be spent on unnecessary stuff and put toward the all super expensive diapers/wipes/formula and quality first foods.

I would love to hear your thoughts on these and other reflections you may have. Let’s create a community of knowledge and share with those coming up after us.

Stay safe and please take care of yourselves and each other.